From the Pregnancy Trenches – Week 33

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a couple of weeks now, but haven’t really known how to do it.  I know that I’ve needed to record what’s been going on, but don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, so I haven’t.  But, here I sit at almost 34 weeks, and if I don’t write it out now, I may not get around to it.

This pregnancy has been really hard.  I know that my post at 20 weeks was optimistic and happy.  What I didn’t write about was the pelvic pressure I was already experiencing.  I talked to my doctor only to have it dismissed as normal, carrying low, and such.  I was told to wear a pregnancy support belt, make sure to squat to pick things up, etc.  It wasn’t really pain, just pressure.  I did what I could, and I went about my life.  Things were good…for a few weeks.

But it got worse.  The pressure changed.  My hips felt it first.  I would try to get up from sitting and feel like my right hip was stuck in position and almost that it needed to “warm up” before it could get going.  I remembered that from my last pregnancy and didn’t worry about it.  I continued to bring up the increasing “pressure” to my doctor, only to have it yet again dismissed.

And yet it got worse and worse and pressure became pain.  Pain in my hips, front of my pelvis, and therefore in my back.  My 3 great weeks of wonderful second trimester energy and feeling great were gone.  I began to worry about being able to get things done around the house, being able to fulfill my calling, being able to care for my daughter.  I found more and more hours passed with me sitting on the couch.

A silly fall at church during singing time took me to labor and delivery about a month ago.  Baby was fine, I honestly wasn’t worried about him as I fell back on to my rear.  But I was in pain.  Real real pain.  I brought it up again and again to the nurses at l&d, to the doctor.  Finally a nurse gave me some super Tylenol, which helped just a little.  The doctor – oh, its normal in pregnancy.  Get a pregnancy support belt, sleep with a pillow between your legs.

A few days after the fall, when the worst of the aggravated pain has subsided, I found myself once again on the couch thinking of my upcoming doctor’s appointment. I was determined that I wasn’t leaving that office until she gave me something to try for the pain.  Tylenol did nothing. And the pain was the point and I couldn’t drive comfortably, couldn’t bend to shave my legs, or get down to give my daughter a bath.

At my appointment, I tried to express to my doctor what was going on.  The pain I felt to get in and out of bed, to go from sitting to standing, to do the little things that one can not do.  Yes, the pain isn’t constant and it isn’t always at its worst.  Most of the time, it’s just a gentle reminder that I hurt.  But sometimes, it’s not.  My doctor suggested I take calcium.

I  took it.  I relieved some of my muscle cramps and helped lower my blood pressure (as I’m currently high risk and on blood pressure meds…you didn’t know that either).  But the vitamin did nothing for my pelvis.  Nothing.

I was frustrated.  I didn’t even bring it up at my 32 week appointment.  Didn’t even bother to ask.  Why, when I’ll just be told its normal or that my baby is going to be big.  Why, when I don’t even feel like they’re listening.

Instead I began to research.  I know there is a danger in self-diagnosis, but I needed something.  I’m pretty sure what I have is known as Pelvic Girdle Pain (PGP) or Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD).  The exact cause seems to be unknown and it is much more studied and diagnosed in Europe than here in the US.  I read countless stories of women frustrated as I, in pain brushed off as a normal pregnancy side-effect.  Slowly, I’ve been gathering real information, information I hope to take to my doctor, information to get me through the rest of pregnancy, information to get me through labor and birth.

A wonderful nurse at our prepared childbirth class took me seriously when I took her aside during lunch and asked if she had any suggestions for me.  She gave me a few – a labor ball to take pressure off my pelvis, swimming if possible, and to ask my doctor for a referral to a physical therapist which I hope to do at my appointment next week.

And so here I am.  I often feel horrible for things I can’t do.  I know it is only temporary and that I will heal eventually, but it is hard.  I’m so fortunate for a daughter who is more than willing to help and is sweet and kind, and for a husband who is helping make up the difference where I can’t do right now.  Because I’m high risk, I also get to attend twice a week non-stress tests, and have been very blessed with wonderful family and amazing friends willing to take care of my daughter in my absence.   I couldn’t do without any of them.

I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I am trying to love the good days and very carefully count my spoons on the bad.  I’m trying not to do too much, and yet do enough.  I’m trying to be careful when fulfilling my calling, completing my responsibilities, and moderating my expectations.  I cannot change this, but I will get through, that’s how it works.

Hopefully, the next few posts on this blog will be more positive.  Actually, I hope to catch up with the photos and stuff I’ve missed in the last few months.  I really want to be caught up before our little guy comes.  And, since I don’t do much but sit on the couch anyway, I have no excuse for having a horribly outdated blog.  Stay tuned…

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